Wednesday, March 12, 2008

ok monkeys!!!!!..it's been a while and i'm sure you're all happy and living in a delusional world where there are no mails from me.....tough luck!!!!...I'm back!!!..and yeah..you will also get a link to this post..so i'm technically advanced..I blog you monkeys!!..join the flow or be forever banished to the clintondom. So what are we going to talk about today?About blogging...yeah...blogging..something which you dont do...so i'm going to enlighten you....The do's and dont's of blogging:

Do's
1 : Do get a fancy swancy name..like peppermint or the spice town for your blog..noone's gonna read it otherwise...heck blogspot may even reject to open your account on the case of lack of creativity.

2 : Do write about the current news (read : global warming...the search engines will pick them up faster), even if you dont know anything outside of your office and you think office news is current news.

3 : Choose topic preferably about carbon footprints even if you dont know anything about them.Dont worry, noone does. You just have to have the word about 10 times in your whole article. The density can vary with the length.

4: Support peta.

5 : Support "crime against people suffering from an overdose of britney spears and US presidential elections" group. I'm sure they exist.If not,make one up.

6 : Write a tirade about how the world is changing because of the youth.(you have to accept that you're not young anymore...dont tell me your old bones dont creak while opening your car door.)

7 : Write an unintelligible article about intelligence.Atleast you can pretend to sound interesting.

8: Have a section where you review K movies...believe me, north India is populated and quite computer savvy, you'll get a few hits from there.

Donts:

1 : Write about your boss, chances are that he's either reading this right now or he's writing about people like you.

2 : Write about your drunken experiences, chances are that the guy whose car you banged is reading it and yeah, internet's available to him too so pfftt...

3 : Write about your ex-girl/guy praising them or the "experiences" you've had with them, chances are your wife sitting at home getting bored or your husband at work may come across it. Actually it's a good idea, you can then blog about your new experience with your soon to be ex husband/wife.

4 : Write about schemes to overthrow your colleague, chances are that americans may come across it and arrest you for terrorism.

5 : Call australians monkeys,anything else is fine. BCCI rescued harbhajan, who'll rescue you??Shah Rukh... ?( auction is not a good earning option for you monkeys)

6 : Write about how depressed you are or how you want to commit suicide....all you'll garner is a few thousand hits to the website but sympathy may be lacking. But maybe,just maybe aaj tak may telecast the suicide live.(they even have music in the background)

7 : Put up pictures of your "amazing vacation".Noone wants to see and the rest are jealous.So...bad idea....

8 : Put up your picture...all australians will take offense.......heheheheheheheheh......