Crackers and Crackpots

I do like Diwali, very much, whatever the title may read. I love the lights, the sparklers, the rockets, the fireworks, the bombs. I set off a lot of them this time. I love the lights, the diyas in almost every house, lighting it up and making it a home. It is a happy festival. Along with christmas. I feel happy during diwali, almost everyone is happy. This festival spreads joy and it's really infectious. It is celebrated across India with great fervour irrelevant of caste, creed or religion.

  But every this festival also gives birth to set of crackpots every yeaar. Every festival, some smartass will think he/she is a superhero/ine and try to set off crackers in a unique way, which will most definitely do damage to someone's property and rarely, a human being. Rarely because most Indians are prepared and take adequate precautions. Sometimes, an unfortunate bugger gets caught unknowingly by these crackpots bursting crackers.

  Like, for example, I saw this bunch of men..Men!! mind you...put a huge green bomb (well..if you're Indian, you'll know which one I'm referring to) under an empty coconut shell. When the thing bursts, it generally shatters the shell and sets off the coconut pieces in a random directions, the only was to escape it is to lie down and keep your face covered. Except when you don't know about it, then the incident may leave you with nightmares about coconut shell monsters. Another one is setting off a rocket horizontally. If an unfortunate family has left the door open, then they might think that an extremely fast snake is out to get them. Another one involves holding a cracker till it is very close to bursting and then throwing it in the air. This really catches many people off their guard. If you see anyone flinching when you raise your hand to your head, he/she has diwalitisis and been scarred by such an incident. Every diwali, there are a bunch of these with more stupid things they innovate. I did these too...except when I was young, we burst crackers in a huge ground and we all did it turn by turn and it was not really close to any homes or people on streets. Now, with lack of space and every street littered with small, medium, luxury, hatchback cars and SUV's. there is no open space left to burst the crackers and people make do with the space they have, leading to the crackpot persona emerging out of most benign personalities.

  But everything, the late night "10,000 wala" bursting when one has to sleep. The loud crackers at 1.30 in the morning, the loud yells in excitement a every burst, the diwalititis is all forgiven in the spirit of diwali the crackpots are ignored or at most a glare is given. Well, I love diwali , but I am glad it lasts for 3 days only. I need sleep and I have to get to work at 9:00 and I don't really feel very forgiving at 1.00 in the night. I feel more forgiving till about 10.30, it's all downhill from there. There is no good excuse for making such a din at that time of the night.Except at diwali. Then there's no need for an excuse. Then it's perfectly acceptable. Sigh! crackpots.

    Hope you all had a Happy Diwali and hope you have a great year ahead. :)

Quick Tales - Caferati Flash Fiction - at Livejournal

helloooow.....all...I am a bit thrilled today. So I thought I will share it with you all. I entered this LiveJournal Flash Fiction writing on a whim. I did work sincerely on it though. :)  I have been shortlisted in the final100 from a total of 1052 entries. Now you see why I am a bit thrilled.Then there's a panel vote and the popular readers vote. So can you'll please vote. Pretty please. Here's the entry...

http://quick-tales.livejournal.com/13495.html

So read it. Vote for me..ta dah!!!....I shall then regale you with more blog posts that are interesting, funny and highly informative for your entertainment purposes during dull, deary work days.What say? Will do?

Blink of the mind's eye.

On a lazy sunday afternoon,he was sitting by the lake and reading.There was dappled sunlight,butterflies, buttercups and a light breeze.The sky was clear but for a few cottony clouds which would make their appearance to break the monotony.It was perfect,he thought,there had not been such a day since a long time,if there was,maybe he had not noticed.He decided to go home and check this up on google just to make sure he had not missed any sunny lazy days.He'd feel awfully cheated otherwise. 
    He yawned and changed his position,so that he could get better light to read,by the corner of his eye he saw something...he looked in that direction,nothing was there..started reading again.Again he felt it,a vague disturbance,an irritation,like a fly in the air..or hey,even in the coffee.He decided not to look up and thought of using the ignorance is bliss theory.After a while that feeling of being watched disappeared but it reappeared almost instantly.This time he decided to put his book down and investigate.It looked like a day for an adventure anyway. 
    He took the direction of the trees,they were not dense initially but became thicker as he went along and the light became more thinner,delicate like gossamer.Strange,he thought,he had been here before,many times,at all hours,so he had pretty much covered the area.He had never experienced this.So he went ahead.The light stayed that way and did not change,he also noticed that there was no movement,of anything..except him,nothing was moving,not even the leaves.There were no animals,little wooded creatures that inhabited the woods and who he saw frequently were nowhere to be seen...He found the absolute lack of movement mysterious and was inspired to investigate further,thinking maybe he had fallen asleep and he was having a dream. 
      After walking a while,he came to an especially wooded area,he recognised the place.Here,the light was normal,if not stronger and brighter which was strange since there was little room for the light to filter in.behind him there was this strange light,like the time had stopped at dusk.He stood there and thought about what to do next.There did not seem to be anything except the light which was in a different mood today.He decided to go back.Then he felt it again,the eyes looking at him,he turned back abruptly and stumbled a little.He straightened himself and looked up,he was standing directly under the beam of bright sunlight.He looked around to the source of his uneasiness and what he saw almost made him faint.... 
    He closed his eyes and said a little prayer and opened them again.No,no such luck, it ,if you could call it that,was still there,looking at him,staring..since the eyes did not blink.It was there,standing,as sure as he was breathing,he was sure he could see it."It" was him,atleast a spectre of him.It was like looking in the mirror except the reflection was not him,but a ghostly image of him.He felt a chill run down his spine,he could not help it.A horrifying thought ran through his head,was he dead?was this a sign?he pinched himself,hard.. and there,he felt the pain,he could not be dead if he could feel such pain.He wanted to run,but his feet seemed to be stuck. 
    The spectre came towards him,or rather just appeared,before he could make his brain work,it had put out it's hand right through his chest,he could feel it,a slithery cold feeling like touching a snakes scales.And then it began,excruciating pain,like someone was slowly peeling his skin off without the anesthesia or like someone was whipping him on raw skin.He knew these feelings,knew the pain,he just dint know how.they were very familiar.He opened his eyes with great effort and looked down,his heart had been ripped clean from his body..a living beating heart.The spectre which did not have any expression on it's face now had an expression of extreme hatred and watched him die slowly.He wondered why he hated himself so much.Did he do this to himself or did they make him do it.He closed his eyes,not anymore,they cannot,not anymore.he'll be free. 
          He moved a little,his head smarted a little,he warily opened his eyes,could not see anything clearly.He closed them again and opened it again,with a lot less effort,somewhere he heard a door open,he looked in that direction,his head protested,but he lookedand kept looking because he was dumbstruck with terror and kept thinking after all this..still...the last thought before his body gave up was.."oh no..no...please..no"

Story - by me

I am on a roll today. This is a story I had written long back.  It's a little long :)

Was a dark room.Could have been dingy..but it was too dark to see,could have been large,but was too dark to see...could have been small..did I miss the dark part??darn!she thought,there has to be some light,henceforth she'll contribute to the society of blind instead of feline rehabilitation,she then wondered whether it was tax benefits..She stumbled upon something and that bought her back to the reality.Why?she thought..why does she venture to all these places after reading the novels.A small voice inside her head said..because it was romantic and adventurous,another voice said..right!it also says you are gullible and prone to be cheated and that you are stupid and you had forgotten the torch.Hey!she said,in my defense,I dint plan to do this today.I had a lazy evening planned out... 
      It all started when she was returning to work after a lunch break.She was reading a book called Spaces by Alan Frank,she was so immersed in reading the novel that she had overshot her lunch time by almost an extra hour.She closed the half read book and gathered her things and hurried back.Thank god her office was only five minutes away.She can tell she was held up by a client.Not that anyone would ask.She decided that it was too late even to take the normal way and decided to take a shorter route through two old and abandoned buildings,she did it sometimes and it took her almost exactly at the back of her office. 
     She started to make her way through the rubble..darn globalization she thought..creates more rubbish than wealth..if rubbish were wealth..she sighed! and closed her eyes momentarily,she opened them and there was utter darkness..the first feeling was that of pure panic,had she gone blind??her friend had said she must not read in dim light so much.what will she do?then slowly she composed herself,closed and opened her eyes again,ok she could see some vague outlines somewhere,she was not blind(hopefully)but she must have taken some turn while thinking of wealth.darn again!where was she???in the buildings..she had no clue which one.they were so close together.Ok,she thought,she always wanted to find out what was there,so she could as well do it now..So she went ahead,with her hands out for balance,her bag and files seemed to have disappeared.Well..she'll worry about them later.She had to find her way out of here first. 
    So gathered herself after yet another stumble.How can there be absolutely no light she thought,the buildings were so damaged..one of the walls had completely collapsed and left a gaping hole..She went further,then there was a prick of light..yippee she thought,she followed the source and as she came close she was surprised to see that they were torchlights,ones with real fire,like the ones in ancient days..preferably in corridors to light the way..she was more curious now than shocked..maybe..just maybe..there will be something else beyond..what followed was a whole set of winding corridors,lit intermittently with the torches,then she reached a fork..the sane voice said..i think you need to go back.enough of this famous five adventure series..but she forged ahead,taking the right fork..After a while,the corridor led her to a door with an elaborate knob..which seemed out of place for a plain wooden door.She turned the knob in trepidation...it turned and opened..almost instantly she was blinded,because the room was startlingly white and devoid of everything except a small gold statue of indeterminate religious idol.She had no idea what to do?Was she supposed to take it,she reached out and then immediately there was a hiss in the room,like a warning and the room had turned imperceptibly cooler and dimmer,as she got closer,she had a feeling that she was being pulled back,lightly first time,but with more stress as she got closer,it got dimmer and she felt that the oxygen was sucked out of her lungs..she couldn't pull back as she was drawn to picking up the idol and something wasn't letting her get close to it...her lungs felt like they were on fire,the force holding her back was slowly crushing her and the pain was immense...with a great amount of difficulty she reached out and was just about to reach it....when.... 
        She raised her eyes and saw that she was in her seat at the cafe where she was sitting reading the book.She was still reading the book...except,it was on the last chapter and the next few pages were blank..like she was supposed to live the ending...She was living the contents of the book..literally!!!The book could take her where she wanted to,not just in her imagination but in reality and the ending would be completely made by her choices and would be forever printed in the book and passed on like of the previous person who had read it..she was chosen to continue till the author found the right ending.He would persevere till she found it for him or start another chapter.why oh why!!?? she thought,the previous had not chosen French Polynesia or something to visit..atleast death would have been in paradise since there was no guarantee of paradise in afterlife....She had to relive this everytime.

Shikaripura Adventures - Part II

So day 3 - Plan was to go to jog falls about 70 kms away. My aunt stays there in a small place called Kargal (not to be confused with kargil). We decided to set off after breakfast so that we can be back home by early evening as we had to drive back to Bangalore the next day. At 9:30,we get ready and are ready to leave when we see that the car has a flat (thanks to the atrocious stretch near Shimoga). So changing it and repairing the flat sets us back by a good hour and a half. The rest of the drive being quite uneventful. We reach Kargal at 1:00 pm.

Kargal's a town which caters largely to Karnaraka Power Corporation and Karnataka Power Trading Corporation (KPCL and KPCTL) staff and workers. It's clean,neat, well maintained and beautiful. We have a hearty lunch made by my aunt. The only next thing is to take a nap, especially given the weather and our full stomachs. About 4:00 we set off to see the Jog Falls , it's a drop of almost 829ft and is quite unnerving to look over the edge to the bottom. The falls need to be visited in monsoon to see it in all it's glory. Last time I visited there, it was nothing short of majestic. This time, after the monsoon, it's a ghost of it's monsoon self. Still a vision to see though. One can also visit the Linganmakki dam nearby. The rules have changed now due to the threats. Earlier, one could, with permission visit the power generating plant. We dint visit the dam as to was late and it would be closed. My uncle and aunt took us around Kargal and told us stories of china gate and mohini circle (yep..mohini circle..heheh..) and we sat around for a while, went home, had dinner and left. We reached home at about 10:00 or so. The neighbours were worried and were about to call us to and find out (that's how it's there, I dont even know my neighbours in my apartment and we've been there for almost a year). 

  Next day, we left for Bangalore at 1:30 pm hoping to reach home at 8:30 or so. The roads were terrible and worse than we thought, also the traffic had considerably increased, making progress slow. Picked up cousins alongthe way and stopped for tea late evening. After we left, we had a flat tyre again. Prashanth replaced them..again..and we set off...stopped at a village after tiptur to repair the flat..just in case. Rest was an uneventful drive. We reached nelamangala..finally... and took us a good two hours to navigate through traffic. We finally reached home at 10:30 pm. Something has to be done about those roads, because there were quite a few cars along the way with flat tyres. It's a punishment for any vehicle that is not a truck, bus or a jeep.

  I would recommend the hornad/malnad area for anyone who wants to see Karnataka. Please visit during the onset of monsoon or just after the monsoon season. Not during, at that time the rain just does not let up. It's breathtakingly beautiful place and one has to see it atleast once in their lifetime.

Shikaripura Adventures - Part I

Prashanth's parents have been transferred to a place called Shikaripura, near Shimoga (for people for whom the name sounds familiar, this is Karnataka CM Yediurappa's constituency). Since we had a long weekend of 4 days coming up in October, we decided to drive down there instead of taking the train/bus and see the places nearby.

   We left Bangalore at 6:00 am on thursday morning. The route is Tumkur - tiptur - arisikere - birur - shimoga - shikaripura on the Bangalore - Honnavara road. About 330 kms to Shikaripura.We reached Birur without any hassles by 11:00, no traffic at all. The road from there is really terrible or non existant till Shimoga. After that, they turn out fine. Reached Shikaripura at about 12:30 and had lunch and a nap. It's a small town nestled in the malnad. It's quiet, calm, really really green and beautiful.We set off in the evening for a drive nearby. There was supposed to be a town festival of some sorts happening for Vijayadashmi. So the four of us set off to see that. A beautiful drive later, we found out that we were a little late for the festivities. They had gotten over a while back. No harm done, watched a colourful sunset and drove back home. 

  We had decided to go to Shringeri next day which is roughly about 125- 130 kms from there. Set off early at 8.30 after breakfast. The countryside is gorgeous and breathtaking. Acres and acres of paddy fields gives the feeling of a bright green carpet covering the earth.The area, since it comes under evergreen forests of the Western Ghats is really green and gorgeous. In the rainy season, it'll be a vision. We stopped along the way at a place called Dam Hosur, a small dam has been built across Sharavathi. It's more like a barrier than an actual dam. The view was breathtaking. Really!..I am running out of synonyms ( some new words used here onwards will be courtesy thesaurus.reference.com ) . The roads are really nice, the landscape is best experienced if one drives moderately slowly. We stopped on a roadside stall for tea and bun - now this is something one has to try. It's unlike the regular bakery bun. It's sweet and salty at the same time and very tasty. Roadside stalls are the best places to get correct routes, have a little inside stories and get some really good tea/coffee. After being told a better route to get to shringeri, we set off and reached the place at 12:30. It was filled with people.Swarming is a better word. We had completly forgotten that the previous day was vijayadashami and festival time around there. There was also a rathotsav that morning and people had come from far to be a part of it. Oh well, nothing could be done, we parked and set off to see the goddess. After a lot of struggle, we did manage to see the idol. The goddess did look beautiful in all the finery. We then stood in queue for the threetha from the Swamy.Most temples in malnad serve lunch for all the devotees that come. It's done free of charge and the food is tasty, hot and served in a clean place. The people were well behaved and stood in queue for their turn. Serving of a three course meal, eating and cleaning happens in 15 minutes flat for one set of people. It is extremely well organised and smoothly run. We finished a filling lunch and went to see the rest of the place. We left shringeri at about 3:30 and started back. Stopped at Gajanur dam along the way near Shimoga. This is a dam and has all the security systems in place. People are not allowed beyond a certain point. Saw the dam, had the evening tea (I had coconut water, which is really tasty and filling) and drove back. reached Shikaripura at about 8:30 and had a simple dinner and went to sleep. 

Next day's plan was to go to Jog Falls...

Of being a Kannadiga and being a Bangalorean Part II

....continuing....

 Prashanth and I went furniture shopping in the beginning of the year, to get a stand to keep on TV on.We found a perfect one, we went to finalize on the price. The salesman refused to budge when I asked to quote a final price. Then, ta dah!!...Prashanth speaks to him calmly in Kannada, please note, even I spoke in Kannada. But he gives more attention to what Prashanth has to say (gender discrimination you think, nope.Other men were also treated like aliens), so finally he agrees to lower the price and waives the delivery charges. The delivery men also speak well to 'actual kannadigas'...humph..!!! i say!!!...sheer discrimination....

It's not just Prashanth, even his friends manage to get things done their way just by speaking in that twang of theirs. So does a friend of mine, Sunitha. I thought it was because she was persistent and adorable, but now I know the truth. It is because she's from Hassan, she does not speak 'bangalore kannada' you see. There were days when she made autos come to seshadripuram and she managed to convince them that they should not take 'double'. Man!!...I could not do that in all my days of travelling in autos and travel I have, a lot. 

You see, you do get treated well in old Bangalore if you speak kannada, but if you speak kannada from Uttara Karnataka or any other kannada that is not 'bangalorean', then you're royalty here. 

       So go ahead, eat jolada roti and ennegai and makkori. :)

Next post - UK lingo (Uttara Karnataka) for the wannabe kings/queens.

Of being a Kannadiga and being a Bangalorean Part I

I've been informed recently that these are distinctly different categories. Being a Bangalorean does not automatically make you a Kannadiga, even if you speak the language and have lived here virtually all your life.Honestly!!I was shocked too, I was rendered speechless for a whole ten minutes. That, monkeys, is a record, so give the statement the respect it deserves. So coming back to the topic. There are a few observations I've made, both in Bangalore and other places in Karnataka (yup, limited to my state today).

Bangalore is not considered a part of Karnataka by most Kannadigas - It's true, they treat it like some foreign country all by itself, like a necessary evil. Have to go there to earn money but hate the fact. In Hubli, and Belgaum, they think Bangalore girls are 'fast'. Ok no clue why, but they don't like girls from Bangalore and don't like Bangalore. They act like we're aliens and speak to us in English even after being informed that you speak, write and read Kannada. After that, they act surprised that you can do all the above. But they still snigger because your Kannada is so 'Bangalorean'. So sue me if my school taught me only Ambedkar's life in Kannada and how to write an essay on school sports day. I'll quote examples to prove the point.

Another day, Prashanth and I were returning from Kabini when we went up see the dam there. A surly looking policeman stopped us and said that people were not allowed beyond that point on the dam. We said ok, and were standing there, when he asked where we were from, before I could answer, Prashanth says Hubli (he is actually from there, if you were wondering). The policeman's stance softens considerably, starts speaking to him in Hubli Kannada and even asks a colleague to show us around the dam and the place. I was surprised at the sudden change. Then he asks Prashanth if even I was from Hubli, he says no, she's from Bangalore and they exchange knowing looks. I mean..hello...what's wrong with Bangalore. I love the place. Then he says that he doesn't trust people from here and he's also from north Karnataka. Ok. So we get special treatment because we are from Hubli. Prashanth's all pleased as a punch with himself for that reason and says see. See what? :P Maybe one off incident I say.Apparently not.

       Caught an auto one day, the man spoke to us in english, when we responded back in Kannada, he was extremely thrilled and decided not to ask us 50 Rs more he was planning. AfterPrashanth( yeah yeah...it has to involve him, to show the differential treatment) started speaking in that north Karnataka twang of his, the auto driver was thrilled and called Prashanth a true kannadiga type and gladly took us to the station without even the mandatory one and half they ask.Prashanth got that look on his face again.I mean...damn it!!...I know auto drivers are thrilled when you know Kannada,but what's with non Bangalorean kannadigas getting all the attention....

There is more, but this'll become a really long post..So part II will follow shortly.

The Rage Simmers

Every day, one opens the newspaper or switches on the TV; there is a mention of mob violence. Has it increased over the years? Is the media coverage responsible or are we blowing it out of proportion? All relevant questions, unfortunately, there are no easy answers. In a country of one billion people (overused cliché, but very important to mention) and counting, the economic equality or inequality plays a huge role. It has been oft mentioned that the economic gap between the rich and the por is widening. While it maybe true, it does not paint a completely clear picture. Yes, the rich are still rich, the poor are still struggling. The inflation eats into meager earnings of the people making it expensive to afford what they used to a few months back. So they get poorer. The health factor is also another major contributor. Many families have only one earning member, so when they fall sick, the medical bills eat into what they have. Unemployment reigns large. A few who do get out of it, manage to get a better life.

      But many people are stuck. Working in a manufacturing industry or a particular office is all they know. It is all they have done in their lives. When suddenly deprived of their life’s purpose and sustenance, they react violently. Change is not welcome. Years of having their voice suppressed and not being heard has given birth to the violent Indian. Anger when not given an outlet for release simmers slowly, this , when stoked by years of scraping for a decent lifestyle, corrupt politicians, of voice and feelings being stomped over and not heard has given rise to a rage, a rage simmering just below the surface waiting to erupt.

    Rage, when it does erupt is inconsolable. It knows no logic or humanity. It has a mind of it’s own. Rage, when it does erupt, leads to the lynching of a CEO for a perceived or a very real wrong done. It leads to the destroying of buses when someone is run over. It leads to people taking law in their own hands. Burning of churches, in Mangalore, in Orissa, is nothing but rage. Not many people actually even know why they are destroying churches, harming people (other than the fact that they have got money to do it). Their anger is stoked by a very skilled leader who convinces them that this is the right thing to do. They bad, we good. Carried away by all the sufferings they have faced, they go on a rampage. They destroy till the rage spent or they are arrested. Mobs, when angry can cause damage to a large extent. Mobs have been used by politicians to bring down other parties, to make others look bad. Plying with such an emotion will finally burn the one who’s started it.

    There are no easy solutions to these problems. They probably existed even before some of us were born. Decades of tolerance for a better future has not yielded the result Indians have been waiting for. The patience is wearing thin. They are not happy. The angry Indian is here to stay, hopefully, if things go well, his stay can be short and lessons can be learnt from him so that we do not repeat the same mistakes.