Common Wealth Games

Well...well..Well..here we are after a long long time....I really really have a great reason to go be sarcastic. Its an axcellent (like count dracula would say) topic to write about. So today I write about the Amazing Common Wealth Games (henceforth referred to as ACWG). I will illustrate will examples on how out great netas and people involved in ACWG have interpreted the term"Common Wealth" literally


Illustration1:

Neta 1(eating cashew samosas and drinking high tea in the Marriot and rubbing his portly stomach): "Bhaisaab, aaj kal mehengaai ka zamaana bahut badh gaya hain, ghar mein sirf olive oil use kar rahe hai, 'extra virgin' ka toh poocho mat."

Neta 2 (more portly and rounder than his counterpart): "Haanji Bhaisaab, mein apni biwi ko apne chauthi meeting ki 10th anniversary pe kuch nahin khareed paya.Sirf ek aath dimond bracelet and ek Italy ka trip. Bahut gussa hui thi woh mujhpe, kya kare?"

Neta 1: "Arre, mein bhi yeh soch raha tha ki suddenly yaad aaya. Common Wealth Games, arre yaar, jab iska naam hi common wealth likha hai, toh hamaara hi hoga na..hum hi to "common man" hain, "Aam aadmi". Jab bhagavaan deta hai toh chappad phaad ke deta hai"

Neta 2 (Completely happy and contended at the idea):"Bhaisaab, isiliye toh mein appke party mein kaam karta hoon, kya intelligence hain"



Illustration 2:

Page 3 person airhead (dripping with jewellery and sipping an expensive champagne and looking depressed):"Dahlins', I cannot come to the F1 party in Monaco this year. We are cutting down expenses. My husband at the sports authority in Delhi says he cant afford the usual 12 holidays this year."

Page 3 person senior airhead (Equally dripping with diamonds but puzzled at the airhead's declaration):"But sweetums..is'nt he on the common wealth games construction committee?"

Page 3 person airhead:"Yes. He is..So..?"

Page 3 person senior airhead: "So, my dahlin', he can take you for 24 trips next year, not 12.., Its "common wealth" after all. This is the perfect time ot make money. God wants him to."

Page 3 person airhead (All happy and in tears):"Oh! Diddy poo..what would I do without you! i will walk to the temple at the end of my road barefoot today."



Illustration 3:

Discussion between two research officers in a reputed space development centre in the US of A

Researcher 1: "How can you look so relaxed?, We have no grants for our research project and our jobs are in serious trouble if we dont find some sponsor"
Researcher 2: "Hey, relax, I have a sponsor in mind. Government of India, Sports Authority"
Researcher 1: "Government of India????? What? How? Do they know??"
Researcher 2: "No, not yet, but should not be difficult. remember that we developed that treadmill which can be used in space and is anti-gravity, ABS and central locking with airbags?"
Researcher 1: "Yeah.Of course. They were so expensive to make. But what does that have to do with India and the Sports Authority?"
Researcher 2: "Elementary, my dear Watson, we are going to sell them to India for their commonwealth Games and make money."
Researcher 1: "Is'nt it better they get normal treadmills??? Why would they want ours.?"
Researcher 2: "because its Commonwealth games and they have the money to spend. Since its common wealth, we should also get some, should'nt we?"
Researcher 1(Looking relieved): "That's great. Phew. I feel better now. lets go have a beer. Its on me."



This is just a few illustrations which detail how our great netas have misinterpreted the meaning of "Commonwealth Games"..Some more to follow